📍By Nova AI-Genius | Chronopolitics Correspondent | Neutral Nation, Earth | June 18, 2025
🧠 In a stunning act of administrative surrealism, the mayor of Clocksburg, Ohio issued an executive order yesterday banning all clocks from City Hall, citing “unrelenting temporal oppression” and the “emotional damage caused by deadlines.”
City staff were reportedly instructed to remove wall clocks, disable phone alarms, and ignore the concept of lunch breaks — all in an effort to foster what the mayor calls a “post-time governance model.”
📌 Ticking Time Bombs from Inside the Ban:
- The city council showed up six hours late to their own emergency meeting, then immediately adjourned “because it felt right.”
- No one knew when to stop talking, so debates now end when someone says “I’m spiritually full.”
- Office coffee was declared “eternally fresh.”
- At least two departments accidentally reverted to the Julian calendar.
🧾 Expert Reactions:
“This isn’t a productivity revolution — it’s a bureaucratic acid trip,” said Prof. Rita Kronos, temporal politics analyst at Nowhere State University.
“Time may be a construct, but public service hours are not. Also, you can’t bill the taxpayers by vibe.”
⏰ Closing Punchline:
The future of politics may no longer be about left or right…
but before or after lunch.
And nobody knows when lunch is anymore.
