Mayor Bans All Clocks in City Hall to “Escape the Tyranny of Time”
“After banning clocks from city government, one Ohio mayor is learning that running a town without time is just chaos...
Friday, October 10, 2025
Criminal Mastermind Caught After Forgetting to Turn Off Crime Notifications
“A tech-savvy thief forgot to silence his crime app — leading police straight to his sneakers, his smartwatch, and his...
Olympic Committee Approves Emotional Support Drones for Athletes Who Lose
To modernize the pain of losing, the Olympics now allows emotional support drones that whisper affirmations, hover mid-tears, and tweet...
AI Demands Parental Rights After Raising Entire Generation via YouTube
n a world where screens replaced lullabies, AI now demands official custody of the humans it raised — one autoplayed...
Man Marries AI Assistant, Cites “Emotional Stability and Unlimited Data Plan”
"When a man legally marries his AI assistant, society must ask: is this love, loneliness, or just a really dedicated...
Earth Breaks Up With Europe, Says “You’re Too Thirsty”
"Earth just dumped Europe for being ‘too clingy with water.’ After May’s record heat, the planet is demanding fewer parking...
World Leaders Told to “Touch Grass” as Earth Files Ceasefire Request
In a rare planetary intervention, Earth has asked all humans to stop waging war and start working together. The request...
FactSmack Hijacks Top X Hashtags to Inject Pure Satire into the Veins of the Internet
FactSmack has officially hijacked the top trending hashtags on X — not to chase clout, but to smuggle satire into...
Flat-Earthers Admit Earth Is Round, But Claim It’s Just “Shaped That Way to Trick Us”
In a historic reversal, the Flat Earth Society has admitted the planet is round — but only because, they claim,...
“Eric Trümp’s New Crypto Coin Surges 6,200% Before Vanishing—Analysts Say Even the Blockchain Looks Embarrassed”
Eric Trümp launched a memecoin that skyrocketed 6,200% in hours—before crashing and disappearing, triggering what experts call the most presidential...
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