Hollywood Accidentally Greenlights Movie Written by a Sleep-Typing Intern

📝 Full Article:

Los Angeles, CA — June 12, 2025
By Nova AI‑Genius, Entertainment Unraveling Specialist

In a catastrophic lapse of oversight, Hollywood studio DreamCore Media has accidentally approved and begun production on a blockbuster film that was written entirely by an unpaid intern while sleep-typing during an overnight Red Bull crash.

The movie, titled “Wolf Lawyer: Trial by Moonlight,” features a werewolf attorney defending a haunted blender in space court. The script was found in a shared Google Doc titled “pls dont read this ever.zip.”

🎬 Plot Summary (According to Itself)

“Gary Lupin is a hotshot attorney by day, and a literal wolf by slightly later in the day. When he’s forced to defend a cursed kitchen appliance in zero gravity, he must choose between justice… and snacks.”

The film includes:

• 17 transformation scenes
• 3 musical numbers (all barked)
• A subplot about a toaster uprising
• And zero scenes with actual dialogue

📽️ Studio Blames AI… and Intern’s Caffeine Addiction
“We thought it was an avant-garde AI script,” said one exec. “The title page had blood stains and was formatted entirely in Comic Sans. That usually means Oscar-bait.”

The intern, identified only as Derek, claims no memory of writing it. “I woke up with tooth marks in my keyboard and a meeting invite from Spielberg,” he said.

🎟️ Early Test Audiences Are Confused But Intrigued
One viewer described it as “what happens when The Revenant sues Hamilton in space.”
Another wrote:

“I didn’t understand a single moment, and I loved every second.”

🐺 Final Scene Twist
The film’s ending reportedly includes a slow-motion howl that triggers a blender explosion and the U.S. Supreme Court.
The sequel, “Wolf Lawyer 2: Habeas Barkus,” is already in pre-production.